


WWE: What Was Excluded

by shadowsamurai



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-06-20
Packaged: 2017-11-08 04:59:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fleshing out of the double episode War Without End (major spoilers for it), concentrating on Sinclair's character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WWE: What Was Excluded

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to S3, Eps 16 & 17 'War Without End, Parts 1 & 2'. And there's a couple of lines' homage to 'Walkabout'.
> 
> So, being a huge Sinclair fan, I noticed that lack of interaction between his character and the others during that great double ep. So…I decided to write a few extras scenes. All sections are in chronological order, and for the most part, canon. Only slightly AU in places, hopefully not too noticeable.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

Ivanova strode purposefully through the corridors of the station, her brow creased into a frown. Sheridan's message had been brief, even curt, and urgent. She was used to such summons, but it made her wondered what had now come up. Before the doors to the war room opened, Ivanova took a deep breath. It seemed like they all lived in there at the minute; all they needed to do was set up a few cots, make a nice campfire, and sing happy songs about peace and love. Ivanova snorted slightly. She knew the others had named her the number one pessimist in Grid Epsilon, never mind just on the station, but she also knew her *realistic* outlook on life was about the only thing that would get her through the damn war. That, and her friends.

"Ah, there you are, Commander," Sheridan greeted her with a smile. Immediately Ivanova wondered what was going on; his message had sounded imperative, yet now he seemed relaxed. "Alright, Delenn, we're all here."

"Then follow me," Delenn said, turning and swishing out of the room.

Ivanova looked around, and saw Marcus talking to someone. She froze. The set of the shoulders, the height and build…. It couldn't be. Then he turned.

"My God…Jeff," she breathed, her eyes widening in shock. She hadn't seen him for almost two years, not since his shock removal from the station, and as she looked at him, General Hague's words still echoed in her mind.

*"Your commanding officer, Commander Sinclair, will not be returning to Babylon 5. He's being reassigned…permanently."*

He looked good, she had to admit. The hair was longer, and there was an ugly right-angled scar on his left cheek, but apart from that, his eyes were calmer - if that was possible - his face less lined, he looked like he'd lost a little weight as well…all in all, Ivanova thought Sinclair looked pretty damn well.

And then he smiled at her. "Susan. Good to see you."

Ivanova smiled back, his voice exactly the same as she remembered, and it startled her to find how much she had missed it. She wanted to go to him, to hug him, put her hand on his arm…any sort of physical comfort would have done. She could call so few people friends, and Sinclair had been one of them.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Ah, you can walk and talk, can't you?" Sheridan interrupted, looking at the impatient expression on Delenn's face.

Ivanova and Sinclair both caught the tone Sheridan used, and both guessed why. "Of course," Sinclair replied. He let Ivanova go first, his hand coming to rest lightly on the small of her back as he ushered her out of the room.

"So, what brings you all the way out here?" Ivanova asked again as they made their way hurriedly to the shuttle bay.

"An important mission," Sinclair replied, his tone distant. Seeing Ivanova again had reminded him what he would be required to give up, and he was only thankful that Garibaldi wouldn't be coming along. He wasn't sure he'd be able to say goodbye to his old friend in person.

As if she knew what he was thinking, Ivanova said, "Garibaldi's going to be mad as hell if he misses seeing you, you know."

Sinclair nodded. "I know."

"Will you be coming back to B5 afterwards or going straight to Minbar?"

"Neither." Sinclair suddenly stopped. "Susan, listen to me. This…mission…it has to be. Nothing can be changed, and nothing should be changed. What has to happen, has to happen."

Ivanova stared for a moment, then nodded. "Good. So not only do you sound like the Minbari, you also sound like a Vorlon." She sighed theatrically. "I feel like the odd one out."

Sinclair laughed. "That's what makes you special."

Ivanova blushed a little. "Why, Jeff, I think that was a compliment."

"Perhaps." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "Or maybe I was just calling you a special pain in the…."

"Will you two hurry up?" Delenn demanded imperiously. "We do not have the time to dawdle!"

"It's good to see things haven't changed," Sinclair said as they started walking again.

Ivanova looked at him. "In what way?"

"Delenn's still the one in charge."

"You have no idea," Ivanova replied, rolling her eyes.

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

"No."

"How can you keep saying no like that?"

"It's quite easy," Ivanova replied. "No. See how easy that was?"

Marcus stared at her. "You're being unreasonable."

"Me? Unreasonable? That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard."

"Is it?" Marcus asked. "Well you must have heard some pretty absurd things in your time, then."

Ivanova glared at him. "I haven't seen Jeff in almost two years. I'm going in the shuttle with him and the Captain. You can go with Delenn and Lennier."

"Ranger One is Entil'zha," Marcus replied. "Do you have any idea what that means? Do you have any idea what it would mean to me to spend even five minutes with him?"

"Alright, we'll flip a coin."

"You are joking. And where to do you plan to find a coin around here?" Marcus asked.

Ivanova sighed. "I'll arm wrestle you."

"Not bloody likely."

"What's going on?" Sheridan asked as he approached with Sinclair, Delenn and Lennier.

"Nothing," Marcus and Ivanova both said quickly.

"Well, whatever this 'nothing' is, it'll have to wait. Let's get to the *White Star.*"

"That's the…."

"…Problem."

*'They're finishing each other's sentences. Save me, someone. Anyone!'* Sheridan thought, looking first at Marcus, then at Ivanova. "What's the problem?"

"There isn't one," Ivanova replied firmly. "Marcus, you go with Delenn and Lennier."

"I tell you what, I'll race you," Marcus said to her, a smile tugging the corners of his lips.

Sheridan looked at Sinclair, and both rolled their eyes at the same time. "Look, one of you rides with us there, and the other on the way back, alright?" the captain suggested with some exasperation.

"Marcus can come with us now," Sinclair said. His tone was mild, but it was clear the decision was not up for debate.

Sheridan looked at Sinclair again, his eyebrows raised, then he turned to Ivanova and shrugged. "Alright. Ivanova, you go with Delenn and Lennier. Marcus, you come with us."

Marcus nodded, his face impassive, but as soon as Sheridan and Sinclair had turned away, he looked at Ivanova, grinned smugly, then stuck his tongue out. He knew it was an extremely childish gesture, knew it went against everything he had been taught as a Ranger, and knew it would tick Ivanova off even more, which was why he did it.

"Marcus, the winner should always be gracious to the loser, not resort to childish taunts," Sinclair chastised him with turning.

"Yes, Entil'zha," Marcus replied, chagrined. Ivanova then caught his eyes, grinned smugly back and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Commander, such behaviour is unbecoming of someone with your rank," Sheridan said. He didn't turn either.

"How did you…?" Ivanova started to ask, then held her hands up. "Never mind. Let's just…go, shall we?"

As they started walking, Sinclair and Sheridan looked at each other again and both winked at the same time.

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

From his position at the back of the bridge, Sinclair smiled knowingly. In the short time he had been in the company of Delenn and Sheridan, he had been surprised by what he had seen. They both seemed so close, so comfortable with each other, and now, as the *White Star* went back in time, they held each other's hands, comforting and protecting each other. Sinclair had also noticed how easily Sheridan's first name slipped off Delenn's tongue; he remembered how long it had taken him to get her to call him by *his* first name. 'Jeff' obviously didn't have the same ring as 'John'.

Sinclair sighed softly. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about everything that was happening. From the letter he had received from himself, he knew what was going to happen. He knew he would have to leave everything behind, and that there was no option, no chance at all, of ever coming back. Sinclair knew in his heart that the path he was on was true, but that didn't make it any easier.

He had already said goodbye to Garibaldi. Sinclair had no doubt that his old friend had received the message he had left by now, and that Garibaldi was having fun arguing with it. Sinclair's smiled again as he thought about what the chief of security would be saying; he didn't imagine any of it would be particularly flattering. But at least it was done. It was as clean a break as he was ever going to make. Ivanova…that was another matter entirely. And Delenn….

Sinclair's eyes drifted back to the chair in the centre of the bridge, to the way Sheridan and Delenn were looking at each other, like there was no one else in the galaxy. He felt a sudden, irrational surge of jealousy, but why, he didn't know. Sinclair had never been able to properly quantify his feelings for Delenn; the only thing he was certain of was a peculiar sense of homecoming and belonging in her presence. But if what the letter said was true, it was no wonder, really. But jealous…. Sinclair shook his head. Perhaps it was simply because he could see that, in the future, Sheridan and Delenn would have the chance he and Catherine would now never have.

He closed his eyes for a moment, tried to quell the rush of emotion. Jealousy was overtaken by an overwhelming sense of happiness for the pair, quickly replaced by sadness for what he, Sinclair, was leaving behind. But overshadowing all of that, stronger than anything else he was feeling, was a protective steak as wide as Babylon 5 was long. Protective of Ivanova, of Delenn, of Marcus, of Babylon 5, of the humans, of the Minbari…. It was a role he never wanted, but that he seemed to be able to do with ease.

Suddenly, the ship lurched and Sinclair was yanked from his thoughts just in time to see Sheridan disappear, his time stabiliser damaged. And that was when he knew there would be no more time for musings. At least not in this time.

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

*"I had to leave something. I couldn't leave without saying…goodbye. You see, Michael, I won't be coming back from Babylon 4. And if you went with me, you wouldn't make it back either."*

Garibaldi muttered under his breath before saying loudly, "Pause." He started to pace. "What the hell are you talkin' about, Jeff? Why single me out when you know damn well I'm the first person you should be takin' with you?" He took a breath. "Resume."

*"I can pretty much guess your reaction to this message, and I'm sorry,"* Sinclair continued. *"And to make matters worse, there's only so much I can tell you on an open channel like this."*

"So why password the damn message, then?" Garibaldi asked in frustration. "Unless…."

*"The message was sent with a password simply to delay you a little longer,"* Sinclair said.

Garibaldi glared at the face on the screen. "I really hate it when you do that."

*"I know there's no chance of you catching up with us, but knowing you, Michael, you'd still try, and I don't know what would happen if you entered Sector 14. I have a good idea, though, and that's why you were left behind."*

"You were protecting me? Oh, give me a break!"

*"I know you don't need protection from anything, Michael,"* Sinclair continued. *"But you're not supposed to be with me on this trip, it's as simple as that. I know if I'd told you that to your face, you'd have still come along. You just have to trust me, old friend; it's better this way, and this is the way it has to be."*

Garibaldi felt his anger fading, and he knew the real reason he was angry was simply because he had the feeling he was about to lose quite possibly the best friend he ever had.

"Didn't you want to see me, Jeff? What the hell was wrong with a quick 'hi'?" Garibaldi shook his head. "You'd better have a damn good explanation for all this."

The expression on Sinclair's face turned regretful. "*You'll never know how much I wanted to see you again, Michael, how much I wanted to hear your voice. You've helped me through some rough patches in my life, and your loyalty to me has never faded. For that, I'll be eternally grateful, and eternally thankful to have been able to call you my friend. Believe me when I say this is not something I particularly want to do, but I* have *to do it. I have no choice. I'm sorry I won't be there for you in the future, Michael. Sorry I won't be able to give you help when you need it. I can't expect you to understand until you know the whole story, and for that, you'll have to ask Susan. And I don't expect you to forgive me for deserting you, but I hope one day, you will do."* Sinclair stared out silently for a long time. *"Goodbye, Michael. Look after yourself, and Susan."* And with that, the screen went blank.

"Computer, replay message," Garibaldi said after a few moments of silence, his voice hoarse. "Fast forward. Freeze frame." Sinclair's sincere and open face stared back. "You're right, Jeff, I don't understand, but I didn't understand why you were reassigned until six months after you'd gone. I didn't understand why you didn't keep in touch. Didn't understand why they replaced you with a guy like Sheridan. But now I do understand all those things, so maybe one day, I'll understand this. As for deserting me…." Garibaldi swallowed the lump in his throat. "You're doin' what you gotta do. I know you. If this thing wasn't for the greater good, you wouldn't be there. So…I guess I'm tryin' to say there ain't nothing to forgive. I just hope that wherever you are, you can hear me. Goodbye…old friend."

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

Sinclair watched Delenn leave the command deck of Babylon 4, leaving him with only Zathras for company. He couldn't help but watch her. She had been part of his life for a long time, and at times, it felt longer. He felt a connection to her that he could never explain, and may never possibly understand, and even though she had lied to him, used him in a way, Sinclair felt a peculiar sense of love for Delenn. And now she was walking out of his life; he would never see her again, just like Garibaldi, just like Ivanova…just like Catherine.

"Delenn, wait."

She stopped at the doors before they opened but didn't turn. She knew he hadn't changed his mind, knew he wouldn't and *couldn't,* but she didn't know what else he could possibly want to say to her.

"Thank you."

Delenn jumped, Sinclair voice startling her with its closeness, and she turned to see him less than a foot in front of her. "For what?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"For looking after me, for being there…." Sinclair smiled. "For being you. Do I need any more reasons?"

Delenn smiled back, though it was a sad shade of her normal smile. "No. I was just curious."

"I'd like you to send Marcus in, please. I need to speak to him before you leave. And would you ask Ivanova to wait outside? I should say goodbye properly."

"Of course."

Sinclair hesitated a fraction before lifting his hand and placing it over Delenn's breastbone in the ritual Minbari greeting. "Valen go with you."

She stared at him for a moment and then had the good grace to laugh. "Even now, you can still find the light in every situation." She nodded firmly. "We were definitely right about you." She mimicked his gesture, and then smiled properly when he covered her hand with his own. "Goodbye…Jeff."

"Goodbye, Delenn." Sinclair made himself let go, though he didn't want to, and quickly moved away from the doors. The temptation to follow was not strong, but it tugged at his mind. Though he knew this was the path he had to follow, he still felt the pang of loss chipping away at him.

"You wished to see me, Entil'zha?"

Sinclair turned at Marcus' voice. "Yes, Marcus, I did. I know you're not happy about this…."

"Being happy has nothing to do with doing what I'm told to," the Ranger replied quickly.

"True, but even so, if I asked, you would go instead, wouldn't you?"

"Of course."

Sinclair smiled. "You could probably do the job as well as I, or maybe even better. But I was chosen, long before I was born. I know that doesn't make much sense now, but it will. I *have* to do this, Marcus. It is my destiny. Each person has one, and this is mine. I know you are still looking for yours…still looking for a purpose. You are a Ranger, yes, but you're searching for something more. I know because I used to be just like you. So I am giving you a task."

"Anything," Marcus said.

"I want you to protect Delenn no matter the cost. Watch over her in my name because I can't do it myself," Sinclair said. He wasn't sure why the request was so important, he only knew that it was vital to ask.

Marcus nodded curtly. "I will do as you ask, Entil'zha, until my dying breath."

"Thank you. You'd better get back to the *White Star.* You don't want them to leave without you," Sinclair said. "On your way out, please ask Ivanova to come in."

This time Sinclair stayed watching the doors, and when Ivanova came in, neither of them spoke, simply stood and stared at each other. Sinclair suddenly realised there was so much he wanted to say to her. He thought he would have the time, but now he knew that this was the end. Their friendship had been slow to build, but impossible to demolish once the foundations had been laid, and Sinclair knew that although they had hardly spoken since he had left Babylon 5, nothing would ever change what they thought about each other.

"You shouldn't have asked me to wait," Ivanova said quietly. "It wasn't fair, Jeff. I had myself all psyched up for never seeing you again and now…. I don't know if I can do this."

"Susan…." He started to walk towards her.

"Don't." Ivanova held her hands up. "Don't make this any harder…on either of us."

Sinclair stopped, the letter still clutched in his hands. "I'm proud of you, Susan. Of everything you've accomplished, of the person you've grown into. I wish I could have been there with you along the way…I wish I could be there in the future. This is something I *have* to do. I've always done it, I always will do it."

"And saying goodbye. Does that get easier each time?" she asked rather cuttingly.

But Sinclair only smiled, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Not that I've noticed."

"Dammit, Jeff, why?" Ivanova burst out, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I don't know. I just know it has to be." He took a step towards her, and then another. "Do you know the thing I am most proud of?"

"No."

"Being able to call myself your friend."

Ivanova swallowed the lump in her throat. "You will be remembered, with honour and…and with love."

Without really knowing why, she held her hand out. Sinclair smiled again and took the proffered limb, clasping it gently. "Goodbye, Susan. Look after yourself."

"And you." Ivanova turned, back ramrod straight, shoulders back, fully prepared to just walk out and never look back. It didn't work.

Sinclair saw Ivanova turn and found himself moving towards her as she strode to him. Their arms came around each other in a crushing embrace, fingers curling into fabric in a death grip. And with the contact came a promise; no matter the distance, in time or space, their friendship would remain. Both had touched each other's life in a unique and unforgettable way, and hole left by the physical absence would be filled by memories.

Finally, Sinclair pulled away and kissed Ivanova's forehead. "You should go."

She nodded, then placed her hand on his chest and kissed his cheek firmly. "Thank you…for everything."

This time when she turned to leave, Sinclair knew it would be forever. With a sigh, he spun on his heel and found Zathras watching. Sinclair had forgotten he was there, but Zathras' expression gave nothing away. Instead he was simply waiting, and with a nod, Sinclair walked forward to join him in watching the *White Star* leave.

B5-B5-B5-B5-B5-B5

The mood of the five departing the *White Star* was melancholy at best. The empty space that Sinclair had occupied only amplified his absence, which was keenly felt by them all, though some more than others. Sheridan had been ready to go with Ivanova in one shuttle, alone, when Lennier offered instead, leaving Marcus to travel with Delenn and the captain. Sheridan suspected Delenn had orchestrated the travel arrangements that way, and later on he discovered he was right. If he knew his second in command at all, then Marcus was not the person Ivanova wanted to be around. In fact, there was only one person's company Sheridan thought she *would* tolerate, and when they docked at the station, he saw he was right.

Garibaldi was stood waiting for them, his hands thrust into his pockets, his face an impassive mask of indifference. But Sheridan could see that the security chief was not happy with what had happened; about being excluded from the trip, about being kept in the dark, about losing a friend. Inconspicuously, Sheridan turned on the pretence of talking to Delenn, but his main objective was to pinpoint Ivanova and Marcus. As he suspected, the Ranger was looking for an opportunity to comfort Ivanova, and himself. They had both lost someone important to them, but in Ivanova's case, Sheridan knew the loss ran deeper.

But before he could move, Lennier stepped forward and gently tapped Marcus' shoulder. After a few brief, whispered words, they both bowed to Delenn and Sheridan, and made their exit. Sheridan looked at Garibaldi, but had no words for him, so instead looked at Delenn. He had found that with her, words simply weren't necessary, and as if she could read his mind, Delenn smiled and nodded slightly. They both smiled at Garibaldi and Ivanova, and then left, but as Sheridan passed his second, he touched her arm briefly. Her reply was a weak nod, but acknowledgement nonetheless.

"So," Garibaldi said, rocking on his feet slightly.

"So," Ivanova replied.

"How'd it go?"

"If we're still here in a week, it went the way it was supposed to."

Garibaldi nodded. "Just the kind of answer I'd expect from you."

"Mr Garibaldi, I'm very tired," Ivanova said, starting to walk.

He pulled his hands out of his pockets and held them up, stopping her. "Look, I'm sorry, it's just…you were there, you know? You got to see him before he…went wherever he's gone. And I know you were close, but Jeff and I were friends a hell of a lot longer and…." Garibaldi dropped his hands and swallowed. "I miss him."

"I know, Michael," Ivanova replied quietly. "I miss him too. It was just so…so damned stupid, and noble, and…just like him!" She wiped her eyes roughly, refusing to cry. "He took Babylon 4 back to the time of the last Shadow war."

"Say what?" Garibaldi asked in shock. "Why? I mean, why Jeff, of all people?"

Ivanova sighed. "You want the long version or the short version?"

"Why does everything have a long version?" he muttered to himself. "Just give me the short version."

"Jeff is…was…damn…he's Valen."

Garibaldi just stared. "I take it back. I *definitely* need the long version of this."

"Well…right now…I need a hug," Ivanova replied, finally breaking down into tears.

"You know, so do I," Garibaldi said, pulling her into his arms.

FIN


End file.
